people are stupid.

i feel like a terrible horrible person
that i betrayed someone
and then just threw them out
because i couldn't deal with everything
or anything to do with them

i try and rationalise it
tell myself that i'm not to blame
i can't be blamed for everything
and that i've finally found somewhere
 where i can be happy
so so happy and carefree and not give a shit
about all that drama and pain and terrible...
things

and that i have someone now that i care about
and i don't want that to change
and then this happens
and i'm still back to square one
trying to crawl out of this pit of
'you're a terrible person you're a terrible friend you're a terrible everything'

only to have my conscience tell me that
you know what
why the fuck are you even like this
you're not that important to this
this isn't your shit
so don't make it your shit

gods i