people are stupid.

you know when you experience something and then days later you keep thinking about it an analyse the shit out of it, put it away only to bring it back out again later and then analyse the shit out of it again? yeah. fun times. really really fun.

i think i'm suffering thought a period called 'utter confusion'. one day i think this, and the next day i think something else completely different. i don't know what i'm even thinking about anymore tbh. UUGGHHHH.

so yeah. here's me.

totally NOT thinking about it.

lies lia lies

but yes, aside from that, my last week has been hectic so far but at the same time wonderful. i watched les mis and went to karaoke and then ate a shit load of chocolate and then spent the night at vin's house. one, because we needed to watch doctor who, and two i couldn't go home because of trackwork.

it was honestly just... nice. i don't know what else to say? can't think of another word for it apart from just... nice. like watching ponies and then more les mis and then talking until 5am. it was nice. and well, i guess i haven't had just like... nice moments? in a while? as in sorta boringtonormalpeoplebutreallyniceifyouwerethere moments derp.

also the loser goes to sleep listening to soft piano covers of MLP like -headdesk- i cannot even srsly...

and then i had to train it back home after getting minimal sleep DERP bit stupid really but we just kept talking like sheesh you'd think we would've run out of things to talk about by now considering the length of phone calls but yeaaahhhh.

then boring day today at home was lovely but kept getting yelled at by parents for the stupidest reasons... iunno. it would've been a better day but eh.

so yeah.
boring day.
boring life.

pretty great :)

so i feel like i might possibly start writing on this blog again?

ix.
i guess you'll never
understand just how sorry i am.
i regret not knowing you better.
i would've loved you.

--
i wrote that a little over a year and a half ago.
funny how i seemed to know how it would've ended.
and i would've regretted it so much. so, so much.
so thank you.

i think i have a disease or something which makes me go for all the fictional douchebags regardless of the show, book, or cartoon series they're in. it's actually the worst because everyone else either hates them, or thinks i'm insane for loving them. yep. my life is hard.

exhibit a: tarrlok (legend of korra)


jesus unf look at that sexy motherfucker. but seriously he is the biggest jerk/dickhead ever and i have no qualms about shipping him with korra. HAHAHAHAHA what is wrong with me tbh.
never mind that he also reminds me of snape aljdhgjkahdgkjahgkj

YEP YOU READ CORRECTLY.
long story short, a family friend went to an auction, bid for a house, realised she couldn't afford it, and asked my rents to buy it instead
it's got 5 bedrooms, plus two ensuites, plus swimming pool, 17 minutes walk to Epping station, and it's got two stories and it's fucking gigantic not even joking. just look at it:

i mean holy shit or WHAT??
i really like it but this will mean we'll have to move and sell our current house like ASAP and that's kinda scary tbh and i'm not really sure
plus it's $1.2 million so like omfg monnneeyyyy issues like a lot of money issues eurgh
but yes
this might be my future house
Y'ALL WELCOME TO THE HOUSEWARMING

it's 1 am and i'm sitting here crying my eyes out over fanfiction. i don't understand why i honestly feel far more for fictional characters than i do for people in real life. well, most people. there are only one or two exceptions which, trust me, i don't understand at all and i never want to find out tbh. and just... the amount of sorrow and pain that i feel for these characters... it's a wonder how i can still function.