people are stupid.

so i don't know, uni lately has been getting me down again, which is annoying and stupid because i really just want to go and lie on the grass in a park and bask in the impending spring but noooo stupid uni. ugh. why am i paying inordinate amounts of money for this crap??????

but yes aside from that life is good good good haven't done anything in particular, finish off three discworld books recently and playing through Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. finally defeated the water temple yesss and now shadow temple mhmmmm.

dreams have been getting a lot more frequent recently, not sure if good thing. sleep is poor? i guess, need more restful sleep tbh. feels better when i'm lying next to eleven but hmmm.

also rainy drew me as a guy:

me like.

i admit it. i'm scared. and this was prompted by a dream i had last night and multiple stories i've read online and words of advice from people all around me that it's not going to work out. i'm dating my best friend. and i'm fucking terrified. i don't even need to go into details. but... i want this to last so much it hurts. but i'm really just not feeling great about it because of the dream. i'm okay. we're more than okay.

so i've realised that i've been happy recently. which is good and wonderful and great. and i realise that partially, it's because i don't have uni during the break and partially because things which made me upset and sad no longer talk to me often/don't give me trouble anymore/aren't ever going to get me down ever again so bless that and thank fuck.

i've also realised that being depressed/sad/afraid/angry takes too much energy. energy which i could be spending doing things with my friends or playing video games or conserving during sleep.

it's nice to be happy. i should keep a tally or something of how many days it's been since i was sad and not because of tv shows or books or movies lol.

mmm sitting here and thinking about random things like cheese and numbers and you know... LIFE. no work this weekend means no money this week SADFACE but good news is actually i have no good news about that i just have no money now SOBS.

that's... about it.

tuesday morning: dream involving TOM HIDDLESTON AND ADAM LEVINE AND RAINY
uh huh. nothing much more to say than that. i had a dream which involved me getting both of their autographs with rainy. <3

tuesday: breakfast with tracey
she had an interview in the morning at epping so she stopped by and we went to a nice cafe in eastwood for brekkie. she had a croissant and i had EGGPLANT because i'm cool like that. but yeah, that was really nice catching up with her and hearing how things are going in her life.

tuesday arvo - thursday arvo
spend the last three days with eleven. i love doing nothing but lying in bed and talking and laughing about nothing. we made nachos and ended up finishing all of ATLA + we watched the first episode of the Legend of Korra. he doesn't know what to make of it yet and he's weirded out by how industrial everything's gotten. nerd. but yeah, it was good to get in a few relaxing days before uni starts again. ewwwww.


on another note, i got DISTINCTION FOR BUSINESS INNOVATIONS. YES. it paid off after all :33

wow it's been FOUR YEARS since i've done this and i'm taking a leaf out of rainy's book so here goes:

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
2009: Of course it's good if he is, but I don't mind at all.
2013: not typically as in everyone finds them hot. i'm going to assume that if i like the person, then they are attractive/good looking to me. i wouldn't date someone i found physically repulsive.

2. Smart?
2009: Of course. :D
2013: DUH.

3. Preferred age?
2009: Around my age...though I don't really mind actually...Nothing more than 1 year younger than me though. Older is fine... just not too much older.
2013: eh, around my age or older. i don't want to date anyone significantly younger or older.

4. Preferred height?
2009: taller than me, lol.
2013: taller than me, lol.

5. How about sense of humour?
2009: Preferably. I mean, at least enough humour to not make me feel stupid for cracking joke. XDD
2013: definitely. no sense of humour = death to relationship.

6. How about piercings?
2009: LOL. Nah, don't mind really...
2013: eh. their choice, if they look good then go for it.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
2009: I would say so...
2013: they better

8. Pink hair?
2009: LOL. If it suits him, why not?
2013: HAHAHAHAH why not

9. Mushy or no?
2009: Mushy? Well, I guess it all depends?
2013: yeah, i actually do prefer him to be slightly mushy. well, at least enough that if i'm mushy, he won't mind and sometimes returns the gestures.

10. Thin or fat?
2009: Don't mind. If I like him, then that shouldn't matter.
2013: shouldn't matter. but generally thin guys appeal more to me.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
2009: There's no yellow? LOL. Nah, don't care.
2013: if i like them, shouldn't matter.

12. Long hair or short hair?
2009: Don't mind. :D Just not too long...longer than my hair is out. :D
2013: as long as it looks good on them.

13. Plastic or metal?
2009: Eh? I guess both?
2013. you know, four years later and this question STILL doesn't make sense LOL.

14. Smells good?
2009: don't mind, as long as he doesn't stink. :D
2013: as long as he doesn't stink, but generally i like nice smelling guys. not cologne or anything, they just smell nice :3

15. Smoker?
2009: I guess I wouldn't mind THAT much...but preferably no.
2013: N TO THE O. no freaking way.

16. Drinker?
2009: Since I do drink sometimes, why would I mind? XDD
2013: don't mind since i do it too, but nothing more than me.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
2009: Why not?
2013: yeah, why not?

18. Muscular?
2009: ROFL. Nah...
2013: mmmmm yummm abs.

19. Plays piano?
2009: lol. Any instrument really would be fine.
2013: sure why not

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
2009: Though I do like guitars...
2013: yeesssssssssss *flails*

21. Plays violin?
2009: And the violin...XDDD
2013: ahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahah //falls over

22. Sings very good?
2009: Oh yes. XD
2013: YES.

23. Vain?
2009: Everyone has the right to be vain once in a while. Not overly so is okay.
2013: eh, depends on what you mean. i mean, i would like them to care a little about their appearance but overly so is weird... and makes me question their sexuality.

24. With glasses?
2009: Glasses are cute~
2013: cute <3

25. With braces?
2009: lol. Yeah. It's coming off anyway. :D
2013: sure why not it's coming off anyway.

26. Shy type?
2009: I guess I wouldn't mind...but I would like him to be at least slightly outgoing.
2013: as long as i get along well with them and we fit/are compatible then it's an issue.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
2009: Either. xD
2013: wouldn't want a too rebellious guy, but a little bit is perfectly fine ;)

28. Active or passive?
2009: Active I guess?
2013: active please.

29. Tight or bomb?
2009: Erm...I'm confused. O_O
2013: wtf.

30. Singer or dancer?
2009: I prefer a singer, but I have nothing against dancers.
2013: wouldn't mind either.

31. Stunner?
2009: lol. not required.
2013: SET PHASERS TO STUN

32. Hiphop?
2009: LOL. If it's his talent, then yeah okay.
2013: sure thing? i mean, i don't particularly dig it or anything but eh

33. Earrings?
2009: Why not?
2013: why not? i don't mind. like i said, as long as it looks good on them haha

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-until-you-drop?
2009: ...err...preferably not?
2013: as long as it doesn't mean that he just uses girls and them dumps them. like, i don't care if you've dated heaps, as long as they're loyal to the relationship and are as committed as i am then i don't see that as a big issue.

35. Dimples?
2009: it woud be cute. :D
2013: yummmm dimples

36. Bookworm?
2009: Why not? I love books myself!
2013: ugh yes i like guys who read

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
2009: Letters are romantic. :D
2013: i also love letters derp

38. Playful?
2009: Lol. Yeah, why not?
2013: yes please. keeps things cheerful and nice <3

39. Flirt?
2009: ;D
2013: no thanks. as long as i'm the only person they flirt with, but if they're a general flirt, i don't want that. too insecure with myself to stand that for long anyway. i'd get jealous.

40. Poem writer?
2009: Would be nice...
2013: no thanks poets are too... emotional. i'm emotional enough, i don't need someone else's emotional baggage as well.

41. Serious?
2009: If time calls for it, of course...
2013: if he needs to be then he should be. otherwise, not too serious. i'd like to have fun.

42. Campus crush?
2009: lol...XD
2013: AHAHAHAHAH mark

43. Painter?
2009: Yeah, sure. Why not?
2013: i'd be jealous if they were better than me though LOL

44. Religious?
2009: No preference really. As long as I don't HAVE to convert myself.
2013: No. Not at all. No religious people or i swear

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
2009: Depends, lol.
2013: yeah well it seems unavoidable with me so ahhaha. i don't mind. it's fun sometimes.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
2009: I prefer not a game freak, but yeah... Internet's okay. I'm addicted myself. XD
2013: now that i'm almost a gamer, i want a gamer.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
2009: SURE THING. 8DDD
2013: NO ARROGANT DOUCHHHEEEE

48. Loyal or faithful?
2009: Err...I don't see the difference, but yeah.
2013: STILL DON'T SEE A DIFFERENCE.

49. Good kisser?
2009: LOL. And if he isn't, he can always learn. ;D
2013: if he isn't, i can always teach him ;)

50. Loves children?
2009: Doesn't have to.
2013: is not necessary at all.

so basically, the last three days of what little remained of my holidays was spent with eleven. tuesday was pacific rim, and the movie was fun but kinda disappointing. i won't go into detail on that, but yeah, oh well. but aside from that, the day was nice.

bought a pair of jeans (FINALLY JESUS CHRIST OH HOLY LORD) for $70, which was a decent price considering that i've been without a comfortable pair of jeans for about a year now sobs.

yesterday was IKEA, where we managed to buy two pillows, a curtain rod, and a chair worth $240 for eleven. since neither of us could drive, we wheeled the chair back to his house. well. actually, mostly carried it since we were worried the wheels would die on the concrete derp. so a train trip and a walk with an office looking chair was... invigorating.

then, popped over to adrien's house and watched him play civilization which was a stupidly complex game for something that should be simple and then stole his PS3 so we could finally go home and play LAST OF US.

LET ME TELL YOU THIS GAME IS AMAZING:

IT'S GOT EVERYTHING I WANTED: interesting characters, great setting/tone /atmosphere, makes you really invested and etc with what's going to happen and everything. ugh. SO GOOD.

but yeah, we watched like, 5 episodes of ATLA, and gosh i forgot how sad some of the episodes are. especially the one where iroh goes and has a picnic with his son, I CRIED LIKE A FUCKER (and so did eleven so i wasn't aloneeee) ajhdgkjhag good story good show good show GOOD SHOW. we went to the Thai restaurant next door to his house and let me tell you, this place has the best food uuuuuugggghh

but yeah, afterwards we slept in like crazy, woke up and played a bit more of Last of Us and then popped over to Grill'd for late lunch. overall, a great few days. <3

--

1: Is there a special boy/girl in your life?
ahahahhaha yes and it feels.... nice to be able to say that.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
er. hmm. no?

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
cat???? like what did you expect, jelly?

4: What’s something you really want right now?
FOOD I'M STARVING AND THERE'S THIS LADY IN OUR HOUSE AND SHE WON'T LEAVE AND WE CAN'T START DINNER UNTIL SHE GOES

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
mmm was afraid still afraid tbh

6: Do you like the beach?
depends on mood. generally, i guess.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
yup~

8: What’s the background on your cell?
swirling galaxy thingy

9: Name the last four beds you sat on?
mine, my sister's, vin's and... my parents'?

10: Do you like your phone?
NO.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
eh... i didn't plan much HAHAHHAHA

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
some uni person

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
probs poodle

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
DEPENDS ON THE PAIN DUH

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
alone? museum. together? zool.

16: Are you tired?
and hungry yeh

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
no idea

18: Are they a relative?
nope

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
L O L

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
last night

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
no freaking way. i'm not nearly emotional stable/mature enough to handle something like that plus being married so young and i'm not even graduated yet is not appealing in the slightest and if they're the right one then we can wait.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yes.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
none~

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?
the cake is a lie

25: What’s on your mind?
Le FOOD. jesus christ i'm fucking starving adhgkjahgkjshgkjhsfgj

26: Do you have any tattoos?
i wish ):

27: What is your favorite color?
greeeeeeeeeen

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
probably the next time i smash faces with vin

29: Who are you texting?
no one

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
yep

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
OH SWEET JESUS YES

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
yup

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
ahahhahahahahaha i certainly hope sooooo

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
not eyes i don't think

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
i'd probably cry a lot

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?
surprisingly no

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
yesssss

38: What do your friends call you?
lia, julia, pumpkin, caramel etc

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?
YES ugh it was the freaking sweetest text ever

41: Where’s your last bruise located?
thigh walking into my door

42: What is it from?
...my door and stupidity

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
A few days ago I had this thing of OH MY GOD I WANT TO GO OUT as in leave my house but yeah. Um. When I was in China I reeeally wanted to be back in Sydney about four days before we were set to return, but that wasn't so much wanting to be away from somewhere, it was just wanting to be at another place. So yeah.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
umumumummmmmmm probs mum?

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
not really

46: Do you wear hats if you were having a bad hair day?
NOPE

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
... probably nooooot

48: Do you make supper for your family?
what's supper, they ask

49: Does your bedroom have a door?
er what yes duh??????

50: Top 3 web-pages?
tumblr, deviantart, facebook

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
probably

52: Does anything on your body hurt?
vaguely my legs

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?
i don't like them

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
probably water

55: How is your hair?
wet but drying

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?
wake up

57: Do you think two people can last forever?
last in a state of cryo yes. love? yes.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?
yes ahahaha year 8 lol

59: Green or purple grapes?
Green!

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
soonish

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
eh

62: When will be the next time you text someone?
probably tomorrow or smth

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?
in bed lol

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.
sleeppppppp

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
i didn't like anyone as such?

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?            
i guess

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
nope sadface

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
probably something about WHY YOU SO EMO AT NIGHT

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
OH YES

70: How many windows are open on your computer?
eight heheheheh

71: How many fingers do you have?
26

72: What is your ringtone?
under pressure yeehhhhhhh

73: How old will you be in 5 months?
5 months older

74: Where is your Mum right now?
next door NOT MAKING DINNER SOBS

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
because he didn't like me anymore and went back to pining over the girl who rejected him hahahahaha

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
yup

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
most?

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
YES

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
no?

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
yesssssss

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
just one

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
yessssssssssss

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
hopefully? xD

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
probably not my usual crowd

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
oh heck yes wtf

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
i cried over the cuteness

87: Who was your last received call from?
mummyyyy

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
no freaking way

89: What is something you wish you had more of?
Money. <ditto

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
i guess?

91: Do you sleep with your window open?
nope

92: Do you get along with girls?
as much as i get along with guys

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
i don't think so

94: Does sex mean love?
for me personally? i'd be pretty damn in love with you to sleep with you that's for sure

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
the only problem would be getting out eventually, but apart from that nopppeeeee

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
nope

97: Did you sleep alone this week?
nope ;)

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
i have manyyy

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?
nope

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?
probably vin