people are stupid.

i've noticed this recently that i tend to get mood swings more violently and more frequently. i don't know if this is due to stress from uni (highly likely), stress from other factors aka my insecurities (also highly likely) or just because i'm a freak of nature who can't go a single day without crying because then my tear glands start leaking on their own (they like being overworked).

uni research bullshit thing today, and then work. i would skip both but... money. and then i won't have any more skips for that stupid subject left either. sooooooo, not skipping lol. fml.

i hate this subject. this piece of bullshit inducing and headache making crap of a subject called contexts of viscom. it can go drown.

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD 
TOMORROW NIGHT YEAAAHHH

i'm super excited, and tim minchin is in it again so wheeeeeee. but yes, aside from that, uni work being a bitch. motion graphics is really starting to become frustrating for me. repetition and motion is leaving me frazzled and confused and on top of that, essay place due friday as well sigh sigh. but yes i guess there's enough of that whinging for now.

i don't really have anything to talk about anymore? i mean, gosh i know only like, rain reads this blog (hi honey ilu) and i guess my life has settled down to just feeling kinda bad occasionally but then getting out of that pit after a good night's sleep so...

still feels guilty for some things... others, not so much. sigh. why.

but yes, on the other hand, staying over at eleven's house tomorrow. i'm super giddy like lalala~~~

so i don't know, uni lately has been getting me down again, which is annoying and stupid because i really just want to go and lie on the grass in a park and bask in the impending spring but noooo stupid uni. ugh. why am i paying inordinate amounts of money for this crap??????

but yes aside from that life is good good good haven't done anything in particular, finish off three discworld books recently and playing through Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. finally defeated the water temple yesss and now shadow temple mhmmmm.

dreams have been getting a lot more frequent recently, not sure if good thing. sleep is poor? i guess, need more restful sleep tbh. feels better when i'm lying next to eleven but hmmm.

also rainy drew me as a guy:

i admit it. i'm scared. and this was prompted by a dream i had last night and multiple stories i've read online and words of advice from people all around me that it's not going to work out. i'm dating my best friend. and i'm fucking terrified. i don't even need to go into details. but... i want this to last so much it hurts. but i'm really just not feeling great about it because of the dream. i'm okay. we're more than okay.

so i've realised that i've been happy recently. which is good and wonderful and great. and i realise that partially, it's because i don't have uni during the break and partially because things which made me upset and sad no longer talk to me often/don't give me trouble anymore/aren't ever going to get me down ever again so bless that and thank fuck.

i've also realised that being depressed/sad/afraid/angry takes too much energy. energy which i could be spending doing things with my friends or playing video games or conserving during sleep.

it's nice to be happy. i should keep a tally or something of how many days it's been since i was sad and not because of tv shows or books or movies lol.

mmm sitting here and thinking about random things like cheese and numbers and you know... LIFE. no work this weekend means no money this week SADFACE but good news is actually i have no good news about that i just have no money now SOBS.

that's... about it.

tuesday morning: dream involving TOM HIDDLESTON AND ADAM LEVINE AND RAINY
uh huh. nothing much more to say than that. i had a dream which involved me getting both of their autographs with rainy. <3

tuesday: breakfast with tracey
she had an interview in the morning at epping so she stopped by and we went to a nice cafe in eastwood for brekkie. she had a croissant and i had EGGPLANT because i'm cool like that. but yeah, that was really nice catching up with her and hearing how things are going in her life.

tuesday arvo - thursday arvo
spend the last three days with eleven. i love doing nothing but lying in bed and talking and laughing about nothing. we made nachos and ended up finishing all of ATLA + we watched the first episode of the Legend of Korra. he doesn't know what to make of it yet and he's weirded out by how industrial everything's gotten. nerd. but yeah, it was good to get in a few relaxing days before uni starts again. ewwwww.


on another note, i got DISTINCTION FOR BUSINESS INNOVATIONS. YES. it paid off after all :33

wow it's been FOUR YEARS since i've done this and i'm taking a leaf out of rainy's book so here goes:

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
2009: Of course it's good if he is, but I don't mind at all.
2013: not typically as in everyone finds them hot. i'm going to assume that if i like the person, then they are attractive/good looking to me. i wouldn't date someone i found physically repulsive.

2. Smart?
2009: Of course. :D
2013: DUH.

3. Preferred age?
2009: Around my age...though I don't really mind actually...Nothing more than 1 year younger than me though. Older is fine... just not too much older.
2013: eh, around my age or older. i don't want to date anyone significantly younger or older.

4. Preferred height?
2009: taller than me, lol.
2013: taller than me, lol.

5. How about sense of humour?
2009: Preferably. I mean, at least enough humour to not make me feel stupid for cracking joke. XDD
2013: definitely. no sense of humour = death to relationship.

6. How about piercings?
2009: LOL. Nah, don't mind really...
2013: eh. their choice, if they look good then go for it.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
2009: I would say so...
2013: they better

8. Pink hair?
2009: LOL. If it suits him, why not?
2013: HAHAHAHAH why not

9. Mushy or no?
2009: Mushy? Well, I guess it all depends?
2013: yeah, i actually do prefer him to be slightly mushy. well, at least enough that if i'm mushy, he won't mind and sometimes returns the gestures.

10. Thin or fat?
2009: Don't mind. If I like him, then that shouldn't matter.
2013: shouldn't matter. but generally thin guys appeal more to me.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
2009: There's no yellow? LOL. Nah, don't care.
2013: if i like them, shouldn't matter.

12. Long hair or short hair?
2009: Don't mind. :D Just not too long...longer than my hair is out. :D
2013: as long as it looks good on them.

13. Plastic or metal?
2009: Eh? I guess both?
2013. you know, four years later and this question STILL doesn't make sense LOL.

14. Smells good?
2009: don't mind, as long as he doesn't stink. :D
2013: as long as he doesn't stink, but generally i like nice smelling guys. not cologne or anything, they just smell nice :3

15. Smoker?
2009: I guess I wouldn't mind THAT much...but preferably no.
2013: N TO THE O. no freaking way.

16. Drinker?
2009: Since I do drink sometimes, why would I mind? XDD
2013: don't mind since i do it too, but nothing more than me.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
2009: Why not?
2013: yeah, why not?

18. Muscular?
2009: ROFL. Nah...
2013: mmmmm yummm abs.

19. Plays piano?
2009: lol. Any instrument really would be fine.
2013: sure why not

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
2009: Though I do like guitars...
2013: yeesssssssssss *flails*

21. Plays violin?
2009: And the violin...XDDD
2013: ahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahah //falls over

22. Sings very good?
2009: Oh yes. XD
2013: YES.

23. Vain?
2009: Everyone has the right to be vain once in a while. Not overly so is okay.
2013: eh, depends on what you mean. i mean, i would like them to care a little about their appearance but overly so is weird... and makes me question their sexuality.

24. With glasses?
2009: Glasses are cute~
2013: cute <3

25. With braces?
2009: lol. Yeah. It's coming off anyway. :D
2013: sure why not it's coming off anyway.

26. Shy type?
2009: I guess I wouldn't mind...but I would like him to be at least slightly outgoing.
2013: as long as i get along well with them and we fit/are compatible then it's an issue.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
2009: Either. xD
2013: wouldn't want a too rebellious guy, but a little bit is perfectly fine ;)

28. Active or passive?
2009: Active I guess?
2013: active please.

29. Tight or bomb?
2009: Erm...I'm confused. O_O
2013: wtf.

30. Singer or dancer?
2009: I prefer a singer, but I have nothing against dancers.
2013: wouldn't mind either.

31. Stunner?
2009: lol. not required.
2013: SET PHASERS TO STUN

32. Hiphop?
2009: LOL. If it's his talent, then yeah okay.
2013: sure thing? i mean, i don't particularly dig it or anything but eh

33. Earrings?
2009: Why not?
2013: why not? i don't mind. like i said, as long as it looks good on them haha

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-until-you-drop?
2009: ...err...preferably not?
2013: as long as it doesn't mean that he just uses girls and them dumps them. like, i don't care if you've dated heaps, as long as they're loyal to the relationship and are as committed as i am then i don't see that as a big issue.

35. Dimples?
2009: it woud be cute. :D
2013: yummmm dimples

36. Bookworm?
2009: Why not? I love books myself!
2013: ugh yes i like guys who read

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
2009: Letters are romantic. :D
2013: i also love letters derp

38. Playful?
2009: Lol. Yeah, why not?
2013: yes please. keeps things cheerful and nice <3

39. Flirt?
2009: ;D
2013: no thanks. as long as i'm the only person they flirt with, but if they're a general flirt, i don't want that. too insecure with myself to stand that for long anyway. i'd get jealous.

40. Poem writer?
2009: Would be nice...
2013: no thanks poets are too... emotional. i'm emotional enough, i don't need someone else's emotional baggage as well.

41. Serious?
2009: If time calls for it, of course...
2013: if he needs to be then he should be. otherwise, not too serious. i'd like to have fun.

42. Campus crush?
2009: lol...XD
2013: AHAHAHAHAH mark

43. Painter?
2009: Yeah, sure. Why not?
2013: i'd be jealous if they were better than me though LOL

44. Religious?
2009: No preference really. As long as I don't HAVE to convert myself.
2013: No. Not at all. No religious people or i swear

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
2009: Depends, lol.
2013: yeah well it seems unavoidable with me so ahhaha. i don't mind. it's fun sometimes.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
2009: I prefer not a game freak, but yeah... Internet's okay. I'm addicted myself. XD
2013: now that i'm almost a gamer, i want a gamer.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
2009: SURE THING. 8DDD
2013: NO ARROGANT DOUCHHHEEEE

48. Loyal or faithful?
2009: Err...I don't see the difference, but yeah.
2013: STILL DON'T SEE A DIFFERENCE.

49. Good kisser?
2009: LOL. And if he isn't, he can always learn. ;D
2013: if he isn't, i can always teach him ;)

50. Loves children?
2009: Doesn't have to.
2013: is not necessary at all.